Barreling Through

Barrel MFI’ve noticed a common feature in my handling of major health problems: I barrel through them with an attitude of I can’t even believe that happened to me and it’s messing up my plans.

When I had cancer, nine years ago, my approach was to get through the treatment as fast as possible and get on with life.  Check. Last summer when I had a stroke, I did the same thing.  What!?  Never mind, I’ll just keep going.

I am extremely thankful that I was able to keep going and that I have no negative effects of either potentially disastrous health challenge.  I reasoned that my normal life would be good therapy, and in fact it was.

However, now eight months after the stroke, I’m not sure if I’ve thoroughly processed it. 

For example, when a name escapes me, I question whether it’s just normal brain-freeze or whether it is something more persistent resulting from the stroke.  Or I wonder, when I can’t find the word I want to use, if I would have had that problem a year ago.  Trust me, I’ve lost track of countless names and words before, but I never worried about it.  Am I the same person?  Is my potential inhibited?  I have bouts of depression which my husband says are not uncommon after a stroke, particularly one affecting the part of the brain touched in my case.  (He did the research; I did not.)

Frankly, I still can’t believe it.  I am still in a bit of denial.  Do any of us easily accept what goes wrong with our bodies?  I didn’t think so.

I re-read my posts from the weeks after my stroke.   They are typical of my barrel through outlook, but more importantly they are true.  I must still simply trust that God will use it for his good purpose.  I am still confident that Christianity has the best answer for trials of any sort.  And I still don’t have any answers.  Who knows if there are any answers.  Sometimes things just happen.

Thanks for listening to me.

How do  you process your health challenges?  Have you found it difficult to accept them?

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God’s Highest Willingness

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“Prayer is not overcoming God’s reluctance.  It is laying hold of his highest willingness.”  Archbishop Trench I find this quote extremely helpful.  My prayers are often based on an unspoken assumption that God must be convinced to answer.  He is not reluctant to answer … Continue reading

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Remind Yourself of what Jesus did for You Every Day

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Do you know what Jesus did for you?  You might know that he died for your sins and that if you follow Him you will go to heaven when you die, but do you know that He gives you power and forgiveness … Continue reading

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Overcoming Opposition – Part 2

How does one overcome opposition?  The book of Nehemiah is a study in pursuing a goal and conquering every challenge in the way.  We can learn from him.  Last time we saw that Nehemiah overcame emotional and physical opposition.  Today … Continue reading

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Overcoming Opposition

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Wouldn’t you like to overcome all opposition to your work?  Not that you wouldn’t have any – make no mistake we’ll always have opposition – but that you would be able to get past it and complete the job. Nehemiah is a … Continue reading

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We Fail; God is Faithful

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How many of us can claim to always have made good decisions, to have consistently been kind, thoughtful and considerate of other people, and to have honored God above ourselves?  Obviously, that is a rhetorical question. We fail.  Regularly.  Thank … Continue reading

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A Year of Love

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For some, Valentine’s Day means a perfunctory display of love, fed by florists, Hallmark and chocolatiers, but for me it is an opportunity  to remember love shown throughout the year.   Every year has its share of challenges and successes, good days and bad days, healthy and not-so-healthy times, and … Continue reading

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Would Jesus Commend Your Faith?

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Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation.”  Hebrews chapter 11, later labeled the “Hall of Faith,” goes on to describe many heroes … Continue reading

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Answering the Question: What Do You Do?

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“What do you do?” This question should be banned from all party small talk.  I can never answer it adequately, and I always feel like I’ve left the most important part out of the discussion. The intent of this question is to find … Continue reading

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Remember Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Are you looking for something to do with your children this Martin Luther King Jr. Day?  If they are old enough, I would recommend taking them to see a movie: Selma. My husband and I saw Selma last week, and it has stayed with me.  We have come … Continue reading

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